Cyndi M. "is 26 weeks into her pregnancy and the doctors have discovered a rupture in her amniotic sac. Her amniotic fluid is very low. They don't know where the hole is and won't be able to find it. The other issue is fighting infection which can now enter the sac due to the hole. If they detect infection, the doctors say the baby has a better chance outside of mom, so they will take her in for a C-section. They are hoping to make it at least to the 28 week mark where she will have a much better chance of survival and a healthy life. Pretty much all of the medical staff think she'll deliver in the next 7 days."
We will be praying that this little baby will fight and that Cyndi & Steve will feel the love of those around them. I have faith that Heavenly Father will do what is best for this family and that peace will fill their hearts.
It has brought back many feelings that are always hidden a little under the surface and my heart is hurting as I relive the pain of losing our precious baby Brittani. I was only 30 weeks along when a car accident separated the placenta and she died before I made it to the hospital. But I know that this was the plan and I gain peace from that knowledge. I agreed to the terms and am very grateful to have been entrusted with a child as perfect as she. She didn't need to be tested on this earth, she had already proven herself. Dependant upon my faithfulness she will be my baby again and I will get the chance to hold her in my arms, look into her eyes, sing her songs, and hear her coo back to me. I am so thankful to a loving Heavenly Father that allowed his son to come into this world as a sacrifice for our sins. That through Jesus Christ we are all able to repent, receive forgiveness, and return to His presence. What a blessing this knowledge is! I am thankful to be married to a man of integrity and that through the sacred ordinances performed in the temple we are sealed together for eternity...forever and ever. This means that our children too are ours to keep. Brittani is and always will be my little girl. I have much to look forward to, prepare for, and find happiness in. I have learned a lot from this experience, though it was hard to see for some time. I have been given a level of compassion that only comes to those that have lost a child. I feel I have been able to offer peace to some because of it. We were very blessed to have many financial donations that took care of all of our expenses. I learned that even little donations from many people add up. I try to give as others did to us. It doesn't matter if you don't know what to say. Just let them know you are thinking of them and praying that they feel at peace. Allow them to talk, remember and grieve. Most importantly I have learned that my Heavenly Father knows me and my needs. He loves me and wants me to be happy. He has blessed me so much and continues to answer my prayers. I am truly grateful.
Orson F. Whitney said, "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds our character, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, makes us more tender and charitable, more worthly to be called the children of God...and it's through sorrow and suffering that we gain the education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in Heaven."
Another favorite quote is "May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy."
Brittani Marie Allen
May 16, 2000
Princess, daughter of a Heavenly King
"The crown without the conflict" is inscribed on her headstone with a picture of Christ holding an infant.
6 comments:
Oh to get through that post without crying. That was beautifully written.
You had me in tears right from the start. I never really knew what happened and never wanted to pry. Hopefully Cyndi will not have to endure what you have but if she does, your trials can bless her.
Oh my. I had no idea that you've been through such a heart-wrenching time.
Brittani is beautiful & I can just imagine how much that would have grown with her, given how cute your boys are! Thank you for sharing such a personal experience with the world. I know that in doing this many will feel comfort. No wonder you are so strong, you have no choice! =)
No doubt-YOU ARE AMAZING! The pictures are so precious. How awesome that your boys have an older sister looking out for them from above. Hopefully all will go well with Cindy-prayers are powerful and miracles can happen if it's the Lord's will.
I am sitting here crying as I read this Shelli. You are truly an inspiration to me. I don't know that I could survive such heart break. It is true that sometimes we suffer things or are made to endure things so that we can be the compassion or the shoulder that someone else needs to lean on. You have become stronger from this, and now you are able to lift others. Thanks for sharing that. The pictures are priceless. We love you!
We will pray for Cindy and her little one, as well as the Doctors that are taking care of her.
The trials and hardships that we go through do make us stronger. Thanks for sharing your spirit and feelings. We are blessed to have your family as friends.
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