Let's talk about it

It has been two weeks since I have watched TV. I have caught a few commercials and glimpses when Matt has been watching but overall I haven't even missed it, really. Instead I have been able to get more housework done after the boys are in bed (the only way my house stays clean for a full 10 hours) as well as finish a book I was having a hard time getting into. I don't know that I am doing the best things but they are definitely the better things. There is one problem, though. I haven't folded clothes in over a week. I would usually haul out the baskets right before my show came on. So last night I decided to try Oprah. Again, not best, but better. It was about women around the world and the range of ideas of what beautiful is. There really is a place out there where the bigger you are the more beautiful you are. They force feed their little girls to start them off gaining weight. Yikes. But seriously, how nice that would be to live in a society that smiles about big rumps, stretch marks, and lots of rolls. I could handle that. I happened to catch a preview for tonight's show: Sex part 2. Matt is out of town so I tuned in. I think it is great that it is not taboo to talk about it anymore. I felt it was delivered in a tasteful way and that it truly is something that most people need to learn more about. I was glad that they stressed that foreplay to women is much different than with men. It starts a while in advance. An example of this was when a friend said she called her husband at work to let him know that she shaved her legs that morning. That was it but I'm sure that it built up the anticipation for both of them. The therapist used the analogy of taking something off of the wife's plate to allow her the choice to replace it with sex. It made me remember a commercial about an Everybody Loves Raymond episode when Ray is vacuuming and his wife says she has never been more attracted to him. That is so true. I have been blessed that Matt has caught on to this theory and that he helps out a lot. He is a great dad and loves to spend time with his kids. He doesn't mind when I plan a BBQ meal, knowing full well that he will be the one cooking it. The best part, he doesn't leave the house without asking what he can do for me that day. This morning it was take the trash to the street. He didn't do it and when I called to ask if he forgot he told me not to do it and came right home. Huge in my book. I don't think I let me know it at the time, though. I will be better about that. The other part I think was important was that if as women we would see it (I really prefer to call it making love, not sex) as receiving pleasure and not so much as crossing off another "to do" item that we would find we would initiate more. I also liked that she pointed out that we shouldn't assume that we'll just magically get it right the first time. It takes some general knowledge of what and where and why we have some parts of our anatomy as well as good communication. Just a few things I wish I had known at the beginning of my marriage and not at the eight or nine year mark.